Five Tips to Avoid Long Character Descriptions in a Mirror
Readers have encountered this scene before. The point of view character opens their curtains in the morning and walks over to their mirror. Then the author spends a page describing exactly what the character looks like head to toe.
The mirror scene is a great way of directly telling a reader how a character looks. But it can make the beginning of a chapter or story drag on. And sometimes, all of that detail isn’t necessary.
There are better, more subtle ways of getting this information to readers that doesn’t interrupt the plot. Scattering them throughout your story can help convey the same information in a more interesting way.
Tip 1: Describe A Feature When Interacted With
Describing a character’s features when they interact with it is a great way to help it flow into your narration. Instead of:
“Alexis twirled a strand of hair in her finger.”
“I wiped the mustard off my shirt.”
“She wore her boots.”
Try:
“Alexis twirled a strand of brown hair in her finger.”
“I wiped the mustard off my favorite white shirt.”
“She wore her mud boots so she would keep her sneakers clean.”
Subtle descriptions hidden in narration are an easy way to communicate with your reader. When a description of the character is thrown in at the start of a story, it can be hard for your reader to remember all of it.
When you choose to put emphasis on one trait or item, you signal to your reader that it’s important to the plot or character. Instead of being lost in the text, it stands out.
Tip 2: Mention A Feature In Dialogue
Dialogue can also help you describe a feature of your character. Other characters can comment on your focus character’s appearance in ways that aren’t disruptive. You could say:
“I like your eyeshadow.”
“You had to wear that to the party?”
“Don’t forget your coat!”
Or you can add description into the dialogue:
“That eyeshadow really compliments the blue in your eyes.”
“You really had to wear your ratty old t-shirt to the party?”
“Don’t forget your clean sweatshirt!”
Allow other characters to help add little details to your focus character that feel appropriate to the scenes. When mentioning a character’s appearance is important for a scene, let other characters take the chance to describe them!
Tip 3: Build the Description Into an Action
While this may overlap some with Tip 1, this is a way to add description where it wasn’t before without forcing it into the narration. It works best for items, clothing, and make up.
Here are some actions without the description of an item built in:
“I left for the store.”
“Alexis held up her drink for a toast.”
“He took his backpack and left.”
Now look at the examples of built in description:
“I took my leather jacket as I left for the store.”
“Alexis held up her drink for a toast, quickly wiping a lipstick stain off the lip of the glass.”
“He took his blue backpack and left.”
In the first example, the addition of the jacket works because it's not uncommon for people to put on a jacket before they leave their house. The reader doesn’t feel like the story has stopped to describe how the character’s appearance is changing.
In the second example, while it may not be crucial that Alexis is wearing lipstick, you can communicate to the reader that Alexis found the event important enough to dress up for.
In the third example, adding the color of the backpack was an easy way to enhance the description. If the backpack is important later on in the story, having the color established might be helpful.
Tip 4: Use the Mirror Sparingly
No one said looking in the mirror was forbidden! The mirror is just overused when it’s the only way the character is described. Here are some ways it can be used properly:
“I touched up my lipstick in the mirror.”
“He fixed his bowtie in the bathroom mirror.”
“Alexis checked her hair in the rearview mirror.”
By choosing one feature to highlight, the description in the mirror doesn’t take a whole scene. This can help give a quick and useful description of your character. Mirrors can be a great way to tell readers about your character visually, as long it doesn’t take up a whole page.
Tip 5: Don’t Go Overboard
While these tips can be useful for character descriptions, the reason why the long mirror scene can be so frustrating is because the reader is overloaded with information. That can cause the reader to lose track of the plot and isn’t a great hook for the start of a story.
Use these tips only when you feel the character’s visual trait is important to know about. Here are some reasons to point out a character’s trait:
It is/becomes important to the plot.
You want them to stand out from other characters.
It’s important to their identity.
It helps establish their fashion style.
The trait will change later as part of a character arc or growth.
When deciding on a trait to highlight, choose something important to the character. If an elf is traveling with a group of humans, you might point out the elf’s ears, height, or long hair. Don’t take too much time describing all three of those features, though!
Long Descriptions Can Be Useful
You’re probably thinking that there are times when a full character description is important. A few of these situations include:
Someone is missing and can be identified by visual traits.
A quest to find someone might require knowing their appearance.
Description of a criminal.
You need to hide the identity of a character but not their appearance.
The person’s traits are meant to elicit a reaction.
Examples of each in order:
“My son went missing two days ago. If you see a ten year old boy wearing a t-shirt with boats on it, green eyes, and brown hair, please call me.”
“The wise sage tends to wear a dark robe that covers a wrinkled face and white hair.”
“The suspect has purple hair, brown eyes, and was last seen wearing a long purple dress that dragged on the ground.”
“There was a man in town who no one knew the name of. But they knew he stood in the corner, his tall figure, pale skin, and blond hair made him appear like a marble statue.
“They loomed over me, the difference between our height making me look like an ant. Their dark clothing and masked face sent shivers down my spine.”
Telling your reader what a character looks like in these cases is helpful. If these situations happened to you in real life, you would expect a visual description. Therefore, they don’t feel out of place in a story.
Another reason why long descriptions in a mirror feel out of place is because most people don’t wake up, stand in front of a mirror and describe themselves. Using a realistic situation to describe a character in full will flow more smoothly for your reader.
Ready to Ditch the Mirror?
If you’re not sure what features are the most important, you can ask for advice from other writers. Describe your character to friends or a trusted writing community. StoryForge has some great Circles dedicated to advice on character appearance and development!
Now that you’re equipped to create stronger character descriptions, you can go back and edit some of your stories and enhance your existing character descriptions. Don’t forget to use them in your new stories, too!